Mothers of infants and toddlers hold the future of humanity in their hands. Literally. Isn't that obvious? We are shaping those little mind-bodies daily (consciously or not.) The minds of future inventors, business people, politicians. Helo! Why is this essential role of mothers not valued and respected?
I remember vividly: feeling depleted, overwhelmed, and isolated, taking care of my infant daughter 24/7 with no support within 5000 miles. Like many moms, I also felt ashamed of being unhappy in my daughter's face. I ended up at my doctor's crying. I was offered a choice between pills and counseling. Neither worked for me: as most struggling moms, I didn’t need therapy, and I didn't have a PPD (20% of the moms' population has).
I just craved learning HOW to calm down my nerves, recharge, reconnect with myself and other humans to remember who I am. But… I never had time for any self-care! Inspired by near-desperation, I decided to try practicing self-compassion with my daughter in tow. It made things better. I felt more nourished, grounded, and my daughter seemed easier to manage too. That's when I created Parents Pause. We rolled out programs that deliver tailored science-backed emotional self-care tools to frazzled, sleep-deprived parents.
I soon realized that we mothers need more than emotional self-care tools. We need a mental shift - to see how societal conditioning works to our detriment.
Early motherhood acts like a burning glass for the conditioning we women carry. Like many new moms, I was not only sleep-deprived but was bumping against the motherhood/womanhood story the society brainwashed me into.
I found myself asking permission to trust my judgment, my needs - myself as a mother - as I was perpetually clashing with the expectations and arbitrary measures of mom-perfection.
I didn't want the shame and feeling of inadequacy to poison my life in these vulnerable and precious months of early motherhood. I felt rage and a burning desire to redefine what a good mother is. I wanted us collectively to tell a new motherhood story: rooted in self-trust, body wisdom, emotional presence, self-compassion in the inevitable messiness of it all. An untamed motherhood story we were meant to live if we just followed our innate deep intelligence.
For ourselves and our kids - as they need us to thrive. They need mothers trusting themselves and modeling healthy emotional patterns via osmosis (not literally, but you get the idea). *
*The first three years of life are critical - an opportunity not to be missed. Did you know: your baby reflects your mental states, recreates your emotional patterns from day one? Infants mirror their primary caregiver's brain waves, synchronize heart rate, stress hormones, oxytocin, etc.
I am excited to invite YOU on this journey - jailbreaking from the motherhood we all struggle with. I'll show you how to protect your energy, nurture yourself and reconnect with your own wisdom. You will learn how to have the unshakable trust in yourself, and build the support you deserve. So you can parent with joy and ease your way. You are holding the future of humankind in your hands. Never brush it off.
What our world need is thriving parents of young kids, not good mothers martyrs. Creating a legacy of love in your family starts with YOU loving yourself.
With deep appreciation
- Ela Compton
Founder of Parents Pause
Mother, Self-Compassion Teacher, and caregiver burnout wiz.
Here with my mentors: Chris Germer Ph.D., a co-creator of the MSC curriculum (with Dr. Kristin Neff) and Dr. Dan Siegel - renowned child psychiatrist, best-selling author, and speaker.
He said: 'I don't know what you are doing here, but this is different.' And that's how I made him happy to help me more! Mindblown. Thank you FBI, for the negotiation techniques:)."
Learn the techniques used in hostage negotiations (and by all the men in your life) to protect your energy.
This stuff works and is FUN to learn!